Bad Shark Tank
You've just been handed a piece of… something. Nobody's sure what it does. Nobody's sure what it's from.
Your job: convince a room full of skeptics that it's worth one billion dollars.
This is Bad Shark Tank — where the worse the product, the better the pitch. You've got 60 minutes. Top 5 finalists play on the big screen. Prizes for the winners. Go.
The clock starts the moment staff release you from the auditorium. Move fast.
- Find your group (assigned by camp staff).
- Grab one 📋 Pitch Card per team from the front table. Your QR upload code is on it. Don't lose it.
- Pick up one Prototype Item from the kit table. One per team. No trading. No upgrading. That thing in your hands is your billion-dollar future.
Look at your item for 60 seconds. Don't talk yet. Just look. Pass it around. Turn it over. Hold it up to the light. Ask: what does this remind me of?
Your 📋 Pitch Card has two steps. Work through them as a team.
Every video starts the same way. Every. Single. One.
This is your hook. Practice it once before you write anything else.
Work through Step 2 line by line. Fill in every blank. Read it back out loud as you go — if it sounds boring, rewrite it.
- Product Name — should sound real. Not "Super Gear 3000." Something you'd see on a shelf at Target.
- The Science — doesn't have to be real. It has to sound real. Long words. Stolen physics. Commit hard.
- The Market — make it urgent. 47 million Americans are suffering from something. What is it?
- Closing Line — yours completely. No rules. Make them remember it.
Say the pitch all the way through, as a team. Time it on a phone.
- Under 60 seconds? You have room to slow down and add drama.
- Over 90 seconds? Cut something. Every word should earn its place.
- Doesn't make anyone laugh, gasp, or both? Rewrite the wildest line and try again.
Find a spot with good light and not too much background noise. The dorm hallways, the lawn, the patio — wherever looks good and isn't crowded.
One person records on their phone. Everyone else is on camera (or at least in the shot).
- Open with: "Hello, Bad Sharks." — then hold up the item.
- Deliver the full pitch without stopping to laugh, restart, or explain the joke.
- 60–90 seconds. Hard cap. Videos over 90 seconds get cut.
- Film horizontal (landscape), not vertical. It plays better on the big screen.
One take is fine. The best pitches feel real, not the ones rehearsed 12 times.
Scan the QR code on your 📋 Pitch Card to open the Padlet.
- Upload your video.
- Add your team name as the title.
- Submit. That's it.
Staff are watching the Padlet in real time. The faster you upload, the sooner your video gets seen.
When staff give the signal, all teams head back to the auditorium together.
The judges have watched every video. They've picked the finalists.
You'll see which ones made the cut — and find out who won — when the finalists play on the big screen.
| 🧪 Best Science | Most convincingly fake technical explanation |
| 💰 Best Valuation | Most absurd yet somehow believable billion-dollar case |
| 🌀 Most Unhinged | Wildest creative swing that somehow still worked |
| 🎤 Best Delivery | Commitment, timing, and presence on camera |
The prizes aren't what you think. But you'll want them.
What you just did has a real-world name: narrative product design.
Brand strategists at agencies like Wieden+Kennedy, founders pitching at Y Combinator, marketing teams at Apple, screenwriters in TV writers' rooms — they all do this for a living. Take a confusing object (or technology, or idea) and build a story around it that makes people want it.
The pitch you just wrote is the same skill that sells $400 headphones, $2 billion startups, and movie scripts. The product changes. The structure doesn't.
